Mom Biceps & Feats of Strength

The fact is that as your child grows from infant to toddler, you will suddenly notice that you have the best biceps of your life, whether you worked out pre-baby or not. You will suddenly be reminded of the Seinfeld Festivus feats of strength.



This will also have you noticing your other feats of strength that you have developed along the way and how those mom biceps will come in handy to keep you strong, but yet restrained.

Feat of Physical Strength
Like I said, all of the sudden you have these pipes. You will suddenly realize why, after you just held your 26 pound toddler for 10 minutes while cleaning up the kitchen because he was teething and needed

mommy.  Or you held him through the whole church service because daddy just won't due.  All of this sudden realization will be followed by the urge to walk up to everyone and ask "Do you know of a good vet?" Then as you flex continue with "Because these puppies are sick!"  :)

Feat of Mental Strength
You all of the sudden also have this mental strength and ability to restrain yourself *sometimes* that simply wasn't there before being a mom.  For example, you just put time, energy and LOVE into making this amazing grilled chicken and cheese sandwich, and cutting it up with care.  However, your toddler puts it in his mouth and spits it right back out.  For two bites.  Then he won't put any more in his mouth.  The feat of mental strength here?  Not only did you not freak out, you laughed on the inside a little when he spit it out.  Let's face it, it was hilarious how he spit it out.  But you can't let him see you laugh at that.

Feat of Emotional Strength
Somehow those mom biceps keep us strong in ways we never thought we'd need strength.  When my little guy is sick, teething, gets hurt or whatever, there are no words to describe how much I want to take the pain or hurt away from him.  I want to just cry for him.  And sometimes I do.  But it's amazing what strength we can muster when we need it to stay strong for our littles.  Mine is not quite 1.5 years old yet. I can't imagine what this will be like when he's older and dealing with pressures and people at school.  I will likely have to show physical, mental and emotional restraint when that day comes.  I'm fairly certain that I will have to restrain myself from punching multiple people in the throat.  But, only time will tell.

Feat of Social Strength
Sometimes we have to flex restraint when we are in social settings.  Man, do I hate when I'm feeling judged by other moms, or just people in general. Everyone always thinks they know what is best for others' situations. Sometime we also need to exercise restraint by reminding ourselves not to judge other moms for their choices as well.  UNLESS there is blatant neglect or abuse involved.  I have a serious problem with that and am not afraid to talk about it. Out loud. To everyone. And then it's not judging so much as it's concern for a child. 

Feat of Spiritual Strength
Pretty much all of the above gets flexed, tested and tried when you take your toddler to church.  It's a very tough age.  When they are babies they just lay there and sometimes even fall asleep.  If they get fussy, you change them, feed them or leave the sanctuary for a bit.  When they are a bit older they can understand you. They may not listen, but they can at least understand you.  You can try to use rationalization, logic, reward, punishment (whichever is your choice).  However, in this lala-land time period, it is EXHAUSTING to take a child to church!  Literally works your mom biceps, physical strength, mental strength, emotional strength, social strength and spiritual strength as you wonder if it is worth it to take them.  You have to remind yourself week after week that it is. And when the service is over, you're like "Wait, what?  Did he just say that Daniel got drafted for the Lions...1st round?" As I'm writing this, I'm reminded of this blog that was circulating the InterWebs a while back.

We gradually get our mom biceps as baby grows for a reason...we need them to help develop our feats of strength (and restraint).

I'm THAT Mom...And I LOVE It!

Ya know, one never REALLY knows what kind of parent they'll be until they are one.  Turns out I'm the mom who does this kind of stuff:

1. Does play-by-play commentary during bubble play time.  We LOVE bubbles at our house, and yes, we play with them indoors. SHREEEEEK!  During the Olympics, the commentary went something like this: "It's the first mommy/son duo at the Olympics going for the Gold in the bubble blowing/grabbing. We are witnessing it first hand, here in the Raab living room in Bismarck, ND.

Just look at those pipes!

The crowd has gone silent as Jen, the mom goes to blow the first bubble...Gabriel goes to swat at the bubble AND. HE...HAS THE FIRST ONE!!!!!  But misses the second. This next set is going to have to be flawless for this mother/son duo to get the Gold.  The Russians can only sit by and watch on the bench.  They've accused Gabriel of juicing.  Even though he passed preliminary drug tests.  You can't blame them though...look at the pipes on that kid.  Makes you wonder what is in that drink.  Juice, perhaps?  Maybe apple?  Jen sets up and blows her second set of bubbles...this could be for the Gold ladies and gentlemen. Gabriel GRABS ALL THE BUBBLES!!!! THE AMERICAN MOTHER/SON DUO HAD WON THE GOOOOOOOOOOLD!!!!!" 

Kudos to you if you read that the whole way through. I'm sure it's more entertaining in person :)  That's how we roll at our house during bubble time!

(I added this one on Facebook
a while back...) Gabriel laughing
after I said "FARTS!" to him.

2.  Is ALWAYS on the floor.  I can't remember the last time I actually sat on the couch while Gabriel was awake.  I'm always on the floor playing, running crawling around with my little guy.  It is extremely rare to be actually sitting on a piece of furniture anymore at home when he is awake.



3.  Says "FARTS" all the time.  Yeaahh, I guess we don't have any kind of proper speaking etiquette at our house.  At least not yet.  I've posted about this on Facebook before too.  My son, from about the age of 9 or 10 months has found the word "farts" to be hilarious.  He still finds it hilarious. If you say it loudly from across the room he'll laugh. Then walk up to him and whisper it into his ear and he'll laugh even harder!

4.  Buys my son "inappropriate" things. I recently went away for a girls weekend.  We did a little bit of shopping. The very first thing that I bought was a self-inflating whoopee cushion for Gabriel.  I wanted to buy him something fun and thought that was a good idea for him (see also #3 above).  First I found a regular whoopee cushion, but my friend Kristy spotted the self-inflating one.  It's good to have your friends on board!


5.  Holds dance party in the living room. We break out in dance at our house a lot.  Sometimes to the music Gabriel's toys make, sometimes to songs on commercials if the TV is on and sometimes we'll throw some music on to rock out to!


6. Sings on the way to Grandma's house in the morning (and I have a terrible voice).  Additionally, I tend to run out of the nursery-rhyme type of songs often so we switch to rock.  I will break out the  Aerosmith, Def Leppard, etc. 


7. Wears PJ's all day with my son on the weekend.  I've also shared this in a blog before in some way, shape or form.  If we have nowhere to go, my husband, son and I enjoy a day lounging in our PJ's!  What is better than having a rocking out a dance party with bubbles on your living room floor in your PJ's and laughing at the word "Farts"?  Not much in my book :)

So ya. I'm THAT Mom...And I LOVE it!  Because life would be so boring if we didn't have fun.  I can't wait until this Spring and Summer so we can find all kinds of trouble to get into outside!!!  Look out dirt!

The Super Gross & Weird Stuff No One Will Tell You About Giving Birth

Guys, men, fellows, sirs, man-folk: you may want reconsider reading.  As it says in my Blogger Profile, "I'm a tell-it-like-it-is person..." and giving birth, although beautiful and natural (whatever), is gross, painful and not all roses.

Moving on, here is some of the super gross and painful stuff that no one tells you about.  So, I will:

#2: You may or may not take a dookie while giving birth.  I was told I did not.  Not sure if I believe them or not.  However, statistically speaking a lot of women do.  Gross? Yes.  Will you care or notice?  No.

Shocked as Sh#%: You may just be totally shocked after you give birth.  I mean, RIGHT after you give birth.  I know I was.  I didn't cry RIGHT AWAY.  Crazy, I know.  Because that's what everyone does in the movies and on TV.  They put Gabriel in my arms and I was just so shocked that I just pushed this amazing baby out of me so quick that I didn't know what was going on!  Took me a minute to realize that he was really here.  THEN I cried in total happiness.   

Blockbuster: Speaking of them putting that baby right in my arms (and the movies), they don't come out looking like they do in the movies.  But, hopefully this isn't the first time you're hearing this.  They come out looking pretty gross.  Don't fret. The first time you see your baby, you will think he/she is the most beautiful thing you have ever laid eyes on...gross stuff or no gross stuff :) 

Yowza/Ouuuuza: Assuming you don't have a c-Section, your crotch is going to hurt for WEEKS!  Maybe even months if you ripped bad.  DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT try to look at what is going on down there.  Just let the healing happen. Ohhhmmmm....

#2 times 2: While in the hospital, the nurses will give you "stool softeners."  There is a reason for that, ladies.  That first #2 after the baby is born HURTS LIKE A HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS...Again, that is assuming you didn't have a C-section (can't speak for what it's like after a C-section), and even worse if you ripped and worse yet if you ripped bad.  You will think you are giving birth again to a child you conceived with Godzilla.

Look familiar?

More about the bathroom:  At home you will bleed for weeks.  It is like having your period for all of ETERNITY!  And there will be the ritual cleansing of the "down there" EVERY TIME YOU USE THE STINKIN' bathroom.  As if the simple act of going to the bathroom doesn't hurt on it's own every time.  Heck, the simple act of WALKING to the bathroom hurts every time.

BF:  Not everyone loses weight from breastfeeding.  Sorry to break the news.  Not painful in an *Ouch* way, but more of a *Tear* way.  It is still the best for your baby, if you are able, but it did nothing for the weight loss for me.  Additionally, breastfeeding is supposed to help ward of that monthly visit from Aunt Flo.  Again, not for everyone.  Although for me it did help keep her from visiting as often. 

Jubblies:  Post breastfeeding boobs (especially if you've been working REALLY hard on losing the weight) are sort of deflated.  You may remember my blog Machine Gun Jubblies from back in December when I was bf-ing away and they were insanely INflated!  I made it almost four months with those outrageously inflated things.  But the stress of returning to work, pumping there, not producing enough, etc.is why I decided to quit.  That gave me the feeling of an insane amount of freedom that I will never forget.  But now they're just blah.  Is there no happy medium?

Luckily, I have a great friend who told me of many of these things. But I found it unusual that much of this isn't written about as often. Or if it is, it's sugar-coated.   

It's great being the mom, having the bonding time with your child while in the tummy (even those of us who did not care for pregnancy can find SOME things they did like about it) and already having that bond once they are out.  But EVERY woman has wished it all, or at least some, on her husband or significant other...I don't care who you are, at some point you will wish your husband/significant other could experience a fraction of a symptom, pain or SOMETHING during pregnancy, giving birth or recovery.  You can tell me this is untrue. But I will know you are lying.

C-section birthers, I'm curious to know your super gross & weird stuff.  Please feel free to comment with some of them.