I actually wrote a bunch of stuff down that people said to me when I was pregnant. Partly because I couldn't believe some of it, but mostly because I thought it was funny that people think they know you, what you want and how things will be and should be for you. If you've ever been pregnant, you probably have your own list, or can remember hearing many of the items from my list. I was originally thinking I should write a book about it all, but decided to make it a blog post where I could address all of the sh#$ people said to me when I was pregnant. Please take no offense if you were one of the one's who said some of the sh#$ to me :) It's all in good fun.
"You're going to get a minivan."
To which I replied "No, I'm not ever likely to have a minivan. I have nothing against those who choose to get one, but I don't want one...ever." An argument about this topic immediately ensued and I had to defend my stance. Mind you that this is my first child and that my vehicle at the time of this argument was a Subaru Tribeca. A very nice mid-sized SUV. I didn't get why that wouldn't due and why I would HAVE to get a minivan simply because I was having a child. No comprendo señor! No, I will NOT get a minivan.
"How are you feeling?"
Me: "Good, insanely tired all the time, but good." (the 1st trimester was very rough on me and literally sucked the life out of me)
"Get used to it...this will be the next 18 years of your life."
Ok...? I actually had a few encounters with people that were similar to this one and I just don't get the need for someone to say that. Yes, I'm tired. Yes, babies are a lot of work. Yes, they are a lot of work for a lot of years. Yes, I have yet to realize just HOW MUCH work. But don't ask me how I'm feeling only to knock the next 18 years of my life. Thus far (Gabriel is 5.5 weeks), I'm cherishing every single minute of it. And YES, I'm VERY tired and TOTALLY ok with that as he's worth every lost minute of sleep.
Me (to my one of my bff's): "I'm pregnant!"
Her: "Are you happy about it?!"
Um, DUH. Of course I am. Now, you have to know my dear friend Kristy (yes, Kristy...I'm naming you). She is an incredibly smart individual. HOWEVER, she has many blond moments. In fact, I've considered writing a book about those moments because they are hilarious! I believe this to be one of those moments. Several months earlier, we had a conversation about giving birth. I told her that I thought the whole birthing process was unnatural and that I was freaked out about something so big coming out of something so small. She also knows that I'm not a huge baby person and would have preferred to start with a 2 year old. Of course, it's totally different when you have your own baby, and I'm loving having my baby boy. BUT, I'm assuming that is where she was coming from.
"Are you going to find out the baby's sex?"
Me: "Heck YES! In fact, if the 1st ultrasound is inconclusive, we'll go in for another one just to find out."
"Don't you want to be surprised?"
Clearly not. I JUST told you we were going to find out. And let's face it. A baby is a BIG surprise regardless of whether or not you find out. Plus, you are surprised when you see what they look like, if they have hair, what color that hair is, what color their eyes are, etc. A baby is a big surprise. That is for sure! Just as some people can't understand wanting to find out, I can't understand NOT wanting to find out.
"You look tired." (I got this one a LOT from a LOT of people while I was pregnant)
Thanks. You basically just said I look like crap. And yes, I'm tired. I'm tired every day. My body is not only insanely hormonal (I'm working every minute of every day to not be crazy, in fact your question makes me want to punch you in the throat right now. I won't, but I want to.), but my body is literally growing and supporting another life right now.
"You must be about 6 months along now?"
Ummmm...nope, just 14 weeks. Guess I'm just fat. Some advise: Just like it is never ok to ask a woman if she's pregnant (just in case she's not), don't guess how far along she is. Unless you're going to guess low.
"That's what you have to look forward to." (When around other people's misbehaving kids. Got this one a lot too)
Gee, thanks for not only the encouragement when I'm pregnant (not like I can turn back now), but also for doubting my parenting skills before my child is even born.
"When are you due? Boy or girl?" (Another pregnant lady to me on the elevator at the clinic)
Me: "December 4th & boy"
"Wow, how can it be a boy? You're carrying so high."
Where do you get your information? Where you "carry" your baby has nothing to do with it being a boy or girl. Read a book. That is an old wives-tale. And YES, I'm sure. I've had 2 ultrasounds and I saw his little thingy. But thanks for your input.
"Hitting it pretty hard tonight, huh?" (A waiter said this to me at a nice restaurant after I ordered an N/A drink on a work trip)
First of all, I'm pregnant. Second of all, what if I was an alcoholic? Or plain old just don't drink, or don't want a drink? Or what if I was being a designated driver for my colleagues who were drinking? Not-so-much your place to say anything waiter man.
"There is nothing attractive or hot about a pregnant woman. There is something wrong with a man who finds that attractive."
Before reading on, pick your jaw up off of the floor. That is also where mine ended up. Yes, I actually had someone say this to me when I was indeed very pregnant. Additionally, his wife was pregnant at the time. Yikes. Not something to say to a hormonal pregnant woman who could injure you and claim the "pregnancy crazies" to the jury. At a time when I felt literally the most unattractive and insecure that I've ever felt in my life, that was not what I needed to hear. That's fine if that's what you are thinking (you're entitled to your opinion, just as I am mine), but keep your yapper shut about it. At least when speaking to a pregnant woman. My grandfather, who passed away when I was in high school, thought that a woman looked her best when she was pregnant. Because she was fulfilling a higher purpose. One of the greatest purposes. And I assure you, there was nothing wrong with him. In fact, he was one of the most amazing people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.
In conclusion, I am sure going to watch what I say to pregnant women in the future. I will probably only tell them how great they look!
